Feel Again
by enjolraller
Summary: *AU* When Mary washes up out of nowhere with no recollection of anything that's happened, Edward knows something must be done, but against all Mary's wishes he hasn't changed course. Does he want her to remember? Rated M for future Pirate Violence and possible smut. Updated 1/17/13
1. Chapter 1

Edward Kenway boarded his ship easily, jumping to the helm, his crew recognizing his arrival with a cheer. "Full sails, lads!" he shouted,watching in satisfaction as the sails all fell, wind catching them near immediately. The wind blew back at his hair, as he stared out at the open water.

"'tis a fine day out today, Captain." said Anne, who stood, leaning against the railing of the ship, watching as Edward handled the oak steering wheel with care. "Aye, That it is, lass. " He didn't say much else, any attempts at conversation with Anne- or anyone else on board really- were thwarted with vague answers. Something felt different about today. As if it weren't just another day.

The air was crisper- the sea smoother. He could feel it in his bones. He didn't know exactly why though. He thought fleetingly of young Haytham- who was holding down the fort in Great Inagua, keeping things running smoothly. He hadn't seen Haytham in nearly a month. On one hand, he thought maybe he should fix that. Spend a week with his son.

On the other hand, he didn't. Haytham was Mary's son. And you could see it. In his face, in his mannerisms. Edward liked to think he could hear it in his voice. Just the thought of Mary could throw Edward off balance. It felt like he was sinking when he thought of Mary, and naturally, as a sailor, that feeling didn't settle well with him. As he glanced out upon the horizon, shutting out the sound of his jolly crew's song, he saw a sailor making a commotion in the water; screaming and clinging to a floating chunk of wood for dear life.

He called for full stop, to stop and help the poor man. He deftly climbed down and jumped into the whaling boat, and held out a hand for the struggling sailor. Upon closer inspection, he realised it was a woman. She climbed aboard the small row boat, groaning. "What happened to you, lass?" he asked, and before letting her answer he asked "Are you fit to work?" He needed new crew, and he wasn't against putting a lady to work. She looked at Edward, and Edward was immediately rendered speechless, and when she spoke, Edward swore he was dreaming.

In a familiar voice she began to speak.

"I- I'm not sure- to be honest with you- and until I'm sure: no. I'm not fit for work. I saw your brig coming, I thought it was going to run me straight over. I thought for sure I was-" Edward cut her off, lunging forward, grabbing the woman in a tight embrace.

"Mary." he whispered, closing his eyes, and taking in everything about the moment. The smell of her salt skin, the feel of her greasy, wet hair. She gasped, but began pushing him off, near-hissing. "Get your grubby hands off of me!" he backed off quickly, his sudden movement rocking the boat.

"Wh-what?" he inquired. There was no mistake. In front of him was Mary Read. It was her.

"Don't touch me." she said, an eyebrow raised in disgust. Edward was speechless. "Who're you?" she continued, looking tired out- but as if she was getting ready to defend herself. " "Captain Edward Kenway. Captain of the Jackdaw." a certain arrogance filled his voice. A confidence of days passed; the confidence of an eagle. As he said that, he stood, ready to climb aboard. "Ladies first." he said, gesturing towards the ladder. She climbed aboard, Edward ran past her, to Anne. "Call me crazy, Annie, but look at her." Anne's eyes widened as she brushed her red hair out of her eyes.

"You're crazy Edward, but this has nothing to do with it." she said, watching closely as Mary closely inspected her surroundings. Her false bravado fell as she approached the helm of the ship, climbing the stairs. She looked scared. "So, I'd like to know exactly what's going on here." Edward and anne shared a look, and they escorted their soaking wet friend down into the captains quarters.

"What do you mean, Mary?" asked Anne, almost hurt that there was no touching reunion. No explanations.

"Is that my name?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. It was at this point that Kenway realized there was something horribly wrong. He stepped forward. "Look at me." he said, looking at her eyes, covering them with his hands, and then inspecting them once more, looking to see if her pupils dilated when they met with the light. "Yes, it is." he stated simply. "You didn't know?" asked Anne, confused and concerned. Edward felt hopeless. "We were going down- a hunter had us- and I went down hard." she said. That was the only thing that stuck out in her mind. Even searching she couldn't find anything. "Next thing I know, your 'Jackdaw' is barreling towards me." she said, speaking slowly, thinking about her words all she could.

Edward frowned. "She's concussed." he said, with a sigh, He'd seen her die, and yet she came back like an angel on the wind- and yet she didn't even know who he was. He wanted answers, this defied all logic he'd ever known. Yet she was here. A thousand words still left unsaid, he sighed. "We're going to get you help Mary.. just please... try and remember." he said, the words leaving felt like sandpaper on his throat. A wound most easily healed with rum. The easy way around is never the best, however. He reminded himself of this as he considered pouring himself a glass. He needed to be sharp.

He stepped outside quietly, leaving her with Anne and exiting the Captain's chambers, taking a shaky breath of fresh salty air. "Full sail!" He called out, returning to the helm of the ship.

He was full of a strange satisfying hope; but also a crushing realization. While it seemed he'd been granted a second chance; he didn't deserve it. An almost physically painful thought ran through his mind. All Mary had done the last times he spoke to her was beg him to change his course, and when she died, he just searched harder, to find that glory, to find that fortune, and now all he would be met with- if Mary ever recovered, was harsh disappointment. He decided their destination should be Great Inagua, his home- somewhere he could spend time and go under the radar, but at the same time get Mary the care she needed.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: _**lmao this is such an indulgent cliche fic i'm so sorry. reviews and likes please though, thank you!**_

A shuffling in the Captain's Quarters awoke Kenway- he usually wouldn't wake so easily but he was on edge. Mary was up and about. She hadn't gone to sleep yet, she was walking about, looking at the bed Edward made for her. He himself was sleeping on a cot he pulled in from crew's quarters. He wasn't going to sleep in the underbelly of the ship, but he sure as hell wouldn't let Mary either. She had protested, saying she wasn't above it, but he insisted she was. Not to mention- he didn't trust a crew of forty drunken pirates to not take advantage of her unique condition.

"I'm cold." she said. He furrowed his brows, pulled further out of his restless sleep, rubbing his eyes and standing. He pretended that his neck wasn't hurting him as he rolled his head on his shoulders. Being shot was no big deal, but it was the mundane aches and pains that bothered him the most. They reminded him of mortality.

He asked her to repeat herself..

"I'm cold." she said. looking at him. He knew she was lying.

"There are plenty of blankets." It was cold outside however. despit the tropical weather, it could get to the mid 30's in the winter months, especially at night on the open sea. He never left a fire on in the hearth at night, he didn't need the Jackdaw to catch flame. She glanced at him pitifully, rolling her eyes. She didn't even know her own identity and she was still Mary.

"So who are you... I mean.. to me?" she asked carefully, her tongue dancing over the words gracefully, her accent a sound for sore ears.

Edward gave her a look like a deer in headlights. He.. didn't know. There was never an official decision, a declaration. He couldn't say with confidence that he was with Mary Read. He silently considered Haythem, considered saying 'your loving husband'. He noted that she had never blown out the candles in the room. She hadn't even attempted to go to sleep.

He didn't though. He didn't lie. He didn't have the heart to take advantage of Mary.

"A good friend." he decided on, smiling softly, stepping into the light. Mary glanced at him as his features illuminated by the dim firelight. She wanted to remember. She really did, she just couldn't though.

"And Annie?" she asked, cocking her head just slightly.

"The same. You two traveled together." he responded, taking a deep breath of the musky air. The pair stood in silence for a minute. It seemed like hours to Edward. Years, maybe. For the first time in a long time, he had no words. He wanted to soak in the silence, the dimly lit room the only place in the universe that existed. It was Mary who broke the silence.

"Tell me about me." she said, studying his features in the flickering light. He looked softer than the hardened man she had met on the small whaling boat. The flicker of familiarity killed her, she just couldn't pinpoint him. It was as if her mind was trapped, swimming under a frozen surface. Edward pondered what to say, combing his fingers through his hair. "You were a captain." he paused."A magnificent one at that. And an assassin as well." he said. "You were selfless, as selfless as a pirate can be- that is."

Mary nodded, chewing over his words, trying desperately to formulate something to say to him. She couldn't find anything, except she found that she could, interestingly enough, speak french fluently.

"I'm going to sleep then." She paused, pulling a thick cover off of the feather mattress. "It's such a shame that you have to curl up on that cot there, lad. If only there was somewhere else you could sleep."

"No, I do-"

"Get in bed." she said. "I'm cold, nothing more." Mary found it clear that this man was fond of her. She wanted desperately to comfort him, and secretly, although she didn't want to seem weak, she wanted comforting as well.

Edward sighed resignedly, slipping under the covers of his own bed, slightly uncomfortable, trying to stay to one area of the bed, whereas he was usually an all-over-the-place sleeper. He felt mary curl up against him in the blankets falling asleep after quiet near-purr. This was pleasant. He liked it. It was peaceful, and when your life is anything but, it's kind of nice to have someone who can slow things down, calm you down. "Good night." he mumbled, almost about to fall asleep when the door opened wide.

"Captain, we need you at the helm! There's a storm on the horizon!" and before even finishing the thought of can't Anne handle it? Anne burst in beside the crewmember, out of breath.

"We need you for this one!"

Edward jump right up out of bed, throwing his clothes on quickly, snapping the buttons as he ran out. He had left Anne at the helm of the ship- emotionally and physically exhausted, he couldn't bring himself to actually keep at the helm through the night. He'd gone a few days without sleep, with no civilization, nearby at all. He had sailed the long way around to Tampa, a small bustling center in Florida, where he'd met (and killed) a dignitary. He was now sailing for his hideout in Great Inagua.

"Captain at the helm!" she shouted, the words muffled by the deafening rumble of an angry sea. Edward took the wheel, and pulled hard left, as sharp as he could, turning just shy of head on into a huge wave. His crew slowly all came out of sleep- probably tossed onto the floor by the turmoil of the waves- and began attentively following his orders. The entire crew hit the deck as a wave almost knocked the boat sideways

"Shit!" Edward cursed, watching one of his men fly overboard and get sucked under the water. An almost unnoticeable pang of grief shot through him quickly, but his focus returned to to mastering the waves.

"Land ahead!" cried Anne, pointing straight ahead. Edward cursed again, pulling to the right as hard as possible, avoiding collision with the sandbar. "Let's wait out the storm," he sighed, trying to keep steady on the rocking ship.


End file.
